Red State, Blue Balls

18 Oct

Are conservatives kinkier or just clumsier and more likely to be caught and face sex scandals? The data is unclear… Maybe it’s just the hypocrisy which makes them stand out and suffer more?

My evidence is anecdotal and seemingly skewed by decades of fantasy sex work — but then again, the greater numbers of conservatives paying for phone sex and other forms of sex work are likely no coincidence. Internet porn use is higher in red states, even while red states are more likely to legislate anti-sex toy laws. Which just proves to me that conservatives prefer not only to keep their kink closeted, but want to grab the rods of authority and rule with an iron fist those “others” they mistakenly believe cannot be trusted to make good — closeted — decisions for themselves.

This does not mean I love or admire my kinky conservative callers any less. Au contraire, mon frères, I adore your panty-wearing, freshly-spanked, demon-possessed derrieres! I consider it my patriotic duty to relieve you of your conflicted desires. And I’m not alone. Lots of my phone sex sisters feel the same way.

For some politicos, playing with party platform values is as an erotic a thrill as playing with religious themes; shame and guilt, the controlling powers of belief and practice, these things aren’t only limited to God you know. There’s plenty of room in a big tent to explore such divine thrills… When you have an intelligent phone sex operator who knows how to exploit your election erection, that is.

You’ll meet some of those women here.

One Response to “Red State, Blue Balls”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Red State, Blue Balls (Phone Sex Help For Your Election Erection) | Let's Get Sex Positive | Scoop.it - November 8, 2012

    [...] Are conservatives kinkier or just clumsier and more likely to be caught and face sex scandals? The data is unclear… Maybe it’s just the hypocrisy which makes them stand out and suffer m…  [...]

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